Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
