champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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