why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
