she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize