Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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