similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
