I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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