What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
We talked him into tasing himself.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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