omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
