I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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