Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
