Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
