I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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