No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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