This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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