I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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