No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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