No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
