Please, let me fuck your mom
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
