Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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