At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Operation Purity has been aborted
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
