Hey man sorry I got all grabby
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
How external is "for external use only"?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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