I forgot how hot balto sounded
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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