): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
