I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
