she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
