she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
