You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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