She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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