i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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