So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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