True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
