drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
My cat gives me a boner
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
