I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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