the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
soo... how was my night?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
