You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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