She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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