I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
