yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
