how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
