i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
the liver wants what the liver wants
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
