i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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