we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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