There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
