Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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