I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
