Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
