How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
