the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
