she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize