Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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