Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
