I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize