I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
