I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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