So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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