We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
